The Stories Our Children Tell

Perhaps one of the most life-changing Scriptures in my life comes from the book of James. Consider it joy when you meet trials of various kinds (1:2). If we are not careful, we can either dismiss James as completely out of touch with reality and read his words as saying, “It’s all good. Don’t worry about it!”. Or, we can see him writing to a people who are experiencing some small inconveniences of life, and that - comparatively speaking - their situation is not that big of a deal.

But when we slow down and understand that he is speaking from his heart to a dispersed people, this one little verse changes everything.

James was speaking to sojourners who knew deeply what it meant to be rejected, to be in danger and deeply misunderstood. They were poor in every [biblical] sense of the term. Which means they were experiencing the essence of what all of humanity fears the most; and they were lacking what each and every person longs for the most. They had no power to make the horrors stop. They had no money or resources to make the desperate desires of their heart a reality.

This is what it means to be poor.

Trials are the means by which we are made poor. When we find ourselves in this midst of one, James tells us to “consider it joy”. If I am honest, I am at least deeply ambivalent with these words. Some of me wants to say, “Screw you.” And other parts of me are saying, “Thank you.” The rest of me is saying, “I have no idea what you are saying, please help me.”

So, what I have learned to do is take some deep trusting breaths, and read it again. What is James saying? What is God telling me right now?

While I could preach (and have preached!) many sermons on this one passage, I will simply summarize my understanding of it here. James is saying, “Slow down and don’t run away. Try not to dissociate. Rather, use your mind to trust that this very difficult circumstance is a rescue mission of Jesus to find the lost-but-glorious sheep of your soul, for the purpose of reconciling it back into the fold, so that you might experience the joy of being wholehearted, complete, and lacking in no part. I know it’s so uncomfortable, and that there is so much grief here. Trust me. Stay present. I love you. I am not tricking you. It is worth it.”

The past three years have felt like one significant trial after another. Life has been nothing short of relentless. Katie and I have gone through so much; and so have our children. Im finding it is one thing to feel the poverty of my own circumstances, it is quite another thing to hear and understand how that same poverty impacts my wife and children.

Just a few months ago, I experienced a life changing moment when my oldest daughter, Emma, read me the story she wrote of how her daddy’s breakdown impacted her so deeply. At this very moment, I’m having to pause to gather myself.

I’m allowing the words of James to saturate the aching part of my soul as I remember how Emma communicated so truthfully about how she lost her dad - the daddy who would drive fast with the windows down, blasting Taylor Swift on the radio. And how that daddy gave way to a man who could barley stand to hear one loud sound in the car without losing it. It was a story of how the freedom she loved gave way to a paralyzing fear.

Even now, I tell myself, “Pull yourself together, Scott. Let the words of James cover you. Consider, Scott. Stay present. Consider this joy, beloved.”

Emma watched me closely as I read what she so beautifully wrote. It was a sign of her honest character and faith that she was able to write it and allow me to read it without protecting me. She didn’t sugar coat anything as she told the truth. She watched me read the story of how my brokenness impacted her life. It was a sacred moment that I will never forget.

And again, Jesus whispers to me right now, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

It is in our poverty, by way of trials, that we can actually see and experience the kingdom of heaven. When we simply stay present, we encounter the tension where Jesus lives, dwells, and where he gives us life and being.

Through many different trials, Katie and I have reconciled with our desire to live wholeheartedly in the present moment. A simple existence. We have felt and experienced the deep groaning that happens when the truth is told, when lies are brought to light, and when we honor and delight in the “neighbor” Jesus brings our way. This is called reality. And living in reality is simply called presence. It is full of stories that bring us great sorrow. But this sorrow enables us to embrace the coming joy that James speaks of. Our family has experienced this as well.

This is the sole reason why Kolibri exists. To meet people in their trials, to assist them in blessing their poverty, so that they might feel the comfort of Jesus as they grieve; and so that they might embrace the joy that is promised in the morning.

“It’s been three years and Katie and I would both say that we are just now seeing the sun rise.” Our intention is to walk with people during their own trying times. The healing process takes a lot longer than we often predict or realize.  And we’re still in the process of watching Jesus make “all things new”.  “We believe.  Help our unbelief, Lord.”